A man walks into a bar… This is how usually the jokes start, but although some of the testimonies here might seem like one, they actually happened. So, that man comes in, sits before the bartender, orders a cold one and starts to talk as though he and the man serving him a drink are old buddies who go fishing together every Sunday. That’s why bartenders are full of anecdotes about their customers, some were told to them personally and others they had witnessed themselves. Sometimes people talk or act under the influence of alcohol, and sometimes they need a confidant and a friend to help them go through the hard times.
That’s why besides knowing how to make any drink imaginable, a bartender has to have a good ear, patience and, above all, professionalism to make it through the shift. So, without further ado, here are the most interesting stories the bartenders overheard, were told or witnessed.
The Great Apology
A bartender from a small pub in Ireland witnessed something that will be retold for decades probably. Namely, one night the pub was fairly full and everybody was talking about the soccer game from the day before. In the corner, some usual patrons were singing an old Irish song, clearly already buzzing from the fourth pitcher of beer.
The bartender was serving an Englishman and his friend when the first guy asked him if he would mind if he climbed the bar. Before he even could answer him, the Englishman jumped up on the stool and straight on the bar asking for everyone’s attention. While his friend was obviously embarrassed by the Englishman’s actions, very quickly every eye and ear was focused on the speaker. With a slur in his voice, he started apologizing for everything England did to the Ireland during the 800-year occupation, as well as for the invasion by Oliver Cromwell. After a couple of seconds of shocked silence, a man yelled: “Bless your heart, lad” and raised a glass to him. Soon enough everyone did the same, and the laughter and conversations started again.
The night Shaq O’Neal raised the atmosphere
Celebrities are no strangers to putting up a show when they had too many drinks. After all, they’re just regular people who like to have fun, too. Miri, a bartender at the New York City rooftop bar had seen it all for sure. The hotel bar she worked at was regularly frequented by the celebrities and that night was no different – they hosted an A-list party. Among the others, Shaquille O’Neil, Kenny Smith, Greg Anthony and Charles Barkley were there and having a great time.
Well into the party people started wooing and some girls even screamed: “Oh, my god”. Miri thought the commotion was a sign of trouble, and when she saw Shaq lifting one of the servers above his head, she expected the worst. But then everybody started applauding and the server was cheering for Shaq to lift him higher. Needless to say that after that move, everyone was more cheerful than before and Shaq lifted a few more people afterward – all guests and all female.
The Bartender Story
Even bartenders can be the main characters in their own story. Sometimes the night carries them away and they have a couple of drinks or more. That was the case with John’s colleague one night. While he was chatting with this gorgeous girl, they drank together, and soon enough John’s colleague became really drunk. This is something that happened several times before, and since the guy had long hair and beard they named him Drunk Jesus. Management didn’t mind their bartenders drinking especially with the customers since that increased the orders, but that night was different.
Drunk Jesus got so wasted that he started hitting on girls and offering them to save them. John and other colleagues tried to calm him down and take him home, but he just wouldn’t hear about it. Since the place was crowded, no one had time to deal with him properly. Lastly, someone complained to the bar manager and he fired the guy immediately and asked bouncers to carry him outside and place him in the cab home. Tomorrow, Drunk Jesus came to work and started setting up the bar. John asked him what is he doing, and the guy answered that he’s getting ready for his shift. Apparently, Drunk Jesus was so out of it that he didn’t remember anything from the night before, let alone that he was fired.
Australia considers Derby day as though it’s a national holiday. Many decide to hire the best mobile bar and popup bar in Sydney, Melbourne and even the smaller cities to celebrate this day in their yard or at the apartments. That’s why it was quite normal for Jared Thibaut from the QT Hotels and Resorts that guests were ordering a lot of drinks that day, and especially by the bottle. But this was also a celebration of the newly opened location in Melbourne.
The Mumm champagne representative was at the party and she was really concerned that the party was going slow, even though it was only 10 a.m. Famous Australian chef Curtis Stone was there and Jared advised her to ask him to sabrage the Mumm bottle. She didn’t know who Curtis Stone was, but she did as I said. Curtis, of course, gladly did this and afterwards, everyone else started doing the same. In a matter of minutes, everyone was drinking Mumm and having great fun.
All in all
Bartenders like all other individuals who work with people are full of stories. Some are funny, some are charming and some are very unpleasant. What makes the bartenders special is the ability to accept different behaviours more easily than everyone else. They welcome their guests at their best and see them off at their worst, they help them solve their problems, give them counsel and always lend a friendly ear to their troubles.