You may have had a few conversations about certain topics with your other half already. You might have just brushed past them, though, and not discussed them in detail. If you are, or will be, engaged to be married, there are some conversations that must happen before you do. You don’t want to have to worry about them later if you know the answers up front. Marriage is about sacrifice and making compromises. You just need to check that they are things you are both willing to do, rather than just one of you.
Talk About Kids
If you are in a serious relationship, this topic will have come up. But it is good to address it again. Do you want children? Does your other half want children? That part is quite simple. It is good to go a bit further than that, though. Does the number of children each of you want completely differ? Would you both be open to adoption if the circumstances require? It is a good idea to discuss how long you want to wait to have children and a few things about raising them. It can be tricky to decide how you will discipline children when you are in the thick of raising them. Discussing your plans ahead of time will help in the long run.
One of the things that a lot of couples fight over is money. It can be worse if one of you likes to spend and the other doesn’t. The things to discuss before you get married are how you will divide the money? Will you get a joint bank account? Will you both be responsible for paying for separate things? You might even want to discuss an antenuptial agreement. If this is the case, it is worth consulting a professional, such as Kathleen M. Newman. They will be able to help you with the legality of an agreement.
Talk About Careers
It is a good idea to talk about where you want to be in your careers, in five or ten years time. Do you even have particular plans in that way? Being married might mean that one of your careers gets put on hold slightly to aid the others. If one of you could only progress your career by moving abroad or to a different location, you need to know. Nothing is set in stone of course, but a rough idea is good to help you plan. Along those lines, you should discuss what would happen if you do have children. Would you both return to work or would one of you decide to stay at home?
Talk About Values
You will know by now if one of you is religious, but it is a good idea to talk about the values you will hold as a couple. Will there be any expectations because one or both of you is religious? How will it play a part with children? Talk about the holidays and festivals that you will and won’t celebrate. It might sound intense, but these types of thing need to be out in the open.