Divorce. That one word is loaded with immense emotions and power. Divorce equates to ending one part of your life, but it is not the end of your life. If you are experiencing a divorce and everything that comes with it, continue reading for steps to take to get through it and come out on the other side.
Find legal counsel.
Divorces are complicated. When children are involved, the process is rarely easy and requires professional help. This is where a divorce attorney comes in. They are trained in this area and are experts in the field.
A divorce lawyer from Divorce Family Legal (or a firm of a similar caliber in your area) will guide you every step of the way, advising you on what to do first and everything that follows to protect everyone under the law. Your lawyer will draft custody agreements, separate finances, and determine asset division. These tasks are difficult and emotionally charged, so it’s best to leave them to professionals to sort out for everyone’s benefit.
Allow yourself to grieve.
The actions and processes surrounding grief are not relegated solely to death. Losing a marriage to divorce is a loss in and of itself. The years of shared experiences and memories matter.
Watch this video on the five stages of grief as translated through the lens of divorce.
Consider the memories.
Just because you are getting a divorce does not mean the past with your spouse did not happen. Your partner was a significant part of your life. Whether it was for decades, years, or a few short months, that timeline is part of your history now and forever.
If your divorce is acrimonious, you do not need to toss the photos into a bonfire. Take a moment and a breath before doing anything you will regret. Assuming that certain objects elicit strong feelings of sadness, anger, or remorse, it is perfectly acceptable to put them away and deal with them later.
Attend to the paperwork.
Divorces require a lot of paperwork. This is particularly true if you’ve been married for a long time.Your lives and finances become almost inextricably intertwined over the years. And yet, things must become separate during and after a divorce.
Here is a list of items you need to update during a divorce:
- Life Insurance
- Power of Attorney
- Living Will
- Trust
- Healthcare Directive
- Health Insurance
- House Deed
- Car Title
- House and Car Insurance
- Bank Accounts
- Investment Accounts
- Credit Cards
The best way to address this is strategically. Go through each account and change the names and passwords based on who receives what in the divorce. Your lawyer will likely have advice in this area, as well.
Going through a divorce is not fun for anyone, even if it is the right move for you. That said, it is a fraught experience that becomes a new part of your history and shapes who you are. Seek legal guidance to protect your rights. Seek emotional support, and take good care of yourself. You deserve to move forward with your life.
