Have you been through a tough break up lately? The kind that you’d rather never happened. After all, it was really not your intention to break up. You were just having another cat fight, that’s all. How and why it escalated into something much, much bigger? You don’t know. We don’t know either. But one thing you do know is that you don’t want things to end here. You don’t want to call it quits yet. You love her and you’ll pay whatever price just to get back with her – no matter the cause.
Now, if that preceding paragraph resonates with you by a great deal, then this article exists for you to read. There is a way to get her back; there is a way to bury the past and create a more harmonious future. But none of your old ways is going to cut it (Even Matthew Hussey has a thing or two to say about it, watch this.). Even if your lucky stars surprisingly make your old, cheesy tactics work; it’s not going to sustain the relationship long. There’s something wrong with the foundations of your relationship and you know it. And if you want to get back together – like, forever – you have to locate these errors and fix them.
Relationships require sacrifice. And this is a pretty good time to get on with it.
Here are a couple of reasons why we think you and your ex didn’t see each other eye-to-eye:
You Have Different Interests – And You Both Don’t Support It
Being a couple doesn’t mean that you have to like the same things. If that were to be the case, you wouldn’t be a “couple.” You’re practically clones of each other! When a relationship runs its course, we tend to forget who our partners are as individuals – especially when many years have passed. We are so used to being together that we forget the fact that we all are our own person. All plans have to be made together, executed together, and enjoyed together. What we fail to understand is that having the same interests does not automatically mean “love.”
Before even starting a relationship, you fall in-love with an individual – a unique individual. You love her for her thoughts, talents, aspirations, and interests even if they’re not the same as yours. You love this person not because she is a reflection of you but because she is a reflection of herself. People walk away when respect is no longer served. She may have walked away because she feels you’re exercising personal control over her life. Learn to respect out of love rather than love out of respect. Note that the keyword there is “learn” and there are many online platforms like getexbackforgood.com that can help you through the process. If you get this right, you’ll be back together stronger than before.
You Squabble Over Differences In Perspective
You can’t force two minds to merge as one – never ever. People say that when couples have been together for long, they tend to think alike. Well, it’s true. But it’s also because many people believe this to be true that they squabble whenever they encounter a minor thing they adamantly disagree about. You have to accept the fact that a person is entitled to his or her own opinions and you have to recognize that those opinions are just as relevant and important as yours. Talk it out; reach a compromise. View things differently but synchronically – if you get what I mean. Also, you’ve got to quit (if you are doing this) the “men’s opinions matter more” kind of mind-set. All thoughts and perspectives deserve the same respect and attention. As I said, people walk away when respect is no longer being served. In the same way, respect always begets respect. There can be no love without respect so make sure that you make her feel all the respect and attention she deserves when you get back together.
Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment – Learn Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
It may be just a theory but you can observe Sternberg’s triangle in any lasting relationship – no matter what age or phase couples are in. Sternberg theorizes that the ultimate definition of love can be summed up to three words: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. Your break up with your girlfriend may be the result of a missing piece in this triangle. You can be intimate and passionate but when there’s no commitment, there can be no love. Commitment doesn’t just mean “not cheating.” Commitment also refers to how you devote time, effort, and attention to your loved one – consistently. You may think that you were the perfect boyfriend because there was no infidelity involved but are you sure you’ve invested enough time, effort, and attention to the relationship? Oftentimes, relationships fail because we tend to be absent during times our partners need us most. Or, we could be physically present and yet our thoughts are wandering somewhere else. If this rings a bell, then you should know what you need to be working on by now.
Be intimate, keep the passion ablaze, and uphold your commitments. Promise her these three things and you won’t just be getting back your ex. You’ll be getting back your future.